Malkin's Brains Reside in Tiny Tits

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Astonishing as it may seem, that little flyaway bimbo by the name of Michelle Malkin was recently seen talking to her tiny tits.

In response to the behavior, Malkin simply said, 'I'm talking to myself, okay?'

It doesn't take much to figure out what Malkin's problem is these days. It's not the Obama campaign she so fiercely rails about, in her petulant, racist whine. It's not the fact that Democrat and Republican men find her wholly unappealing, and are usually prone to spend a few more seconds staring at Ann Coulter.

Nay, it's her tiny tits.

Little green apples. Astoundingly miniscule pippins. Mosquito bites! These baby bumps have turned the once blossoming, attractive teenager into an unattractive, teenage-ish-old-looking mannish woman. With a mere 29. chest, she has taken an unhealthy amount of tiny tit anger, and channeled it out among stunned viewers everywhere. Could she really be that jealous of Michelle Obama? Of course! Does she really hate everyone that much? Absolutely!

Ms. Malkin, do everyone a favor: Get the gift of brains at the same time you enlarge those tweetytips! Surgery like this can only help, since there clearly isn't a single brain cell taking up residence in your little, youngish-old, wobbly noggin.

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